The Afterlife of the Amazon Trio
by TealPikmin
Summary: The Amazon Trio meets the created senshi of Jupiter's Moons in a bar...


A Meeting in a Bar  
  
Europa walks into the bar and takes a seat on a stool, next to (unfortunately) Tiger's Eye. Tiger turned his head to look at her and blinked at her.  
  
"....." Europa didn't notice, so Hawk's Eye, who was next to Tiger on the other side, began snickering. Tiger whacked Hawk. "Quiet! Quiet, you!" Hawk just kept laughing and while Tiger glared at him, Europa noticed them and blinked at the both.  
  
"Uh......." She cocked her head. "....are you two on a date or something? Cuz I can always move."  
  
They both stared at her as if she had just proclaimed herself Queen Beryl. Fish Eye, who was next to Hawk, suddenly went pale.  
  
"You two are dating?! AND I NEVER KNEW??!?!?!" Tiger and Hawk both slammed a fist into Fish.  
  
"WE'RE NOT DATING DAMMIT!!!" They shot Europa looks of extreme distaste.  
  
Fish fell over, looking pained and irritated. Europa was giving Tiger and Hawk weird looks when Io entered and sat next to her.  
  
"Hey, Euro, who are you friends?" Before Tiger and Hawk could respond, Europa started chattering lively with Io, who had just ordered drinks.  
  
"Oh, they're not my friends, I think they're two guys on a date."  
  
"Mm.. ok. I hear the Fuzzy Navels here are great.." The girls talked lightly, while Hawk and Tiger stared in bewilderment.  
  
"This is all your fault..." Tiger muttered.  
  
"MY fault?!," cried Hawk, drawing looks from the bartender. "Whatdya mean, MY fault?!" Tiger took a sip of his own drink.  
  
"You had to start laughing when I checked her out." Tiger replied calmly. Hawk drained a shot of vodka.  
  
"With good reason. She's probably 10 years younger than you." Tiger scowled and realized his drink was empty. He was about to order another one when it appeared in front of him. He gave the bartender a questioning look; the bartender shot a glance at Io. Hawk stared blankly while Tiger glanced down the bar at Io; she winked at him. Hawk looked a mix between jealousy and disgust and his eyebrow began twitching irritably when Tiger pull down one of his eye lids and stuck out his tongue.  
  
"Beeeee-daa!!"  
  
Hawk slammed his fist into Tiger's head.  
  
"I'm not jealous, you squint!" Fish leered at him from his now upright and fully conscious position.  
  
"Oh ARE we not jealous? He's getting a drink and you're not!"  
  
"Neither are you," Hawk stated dryly. Fish fell silent, then look dreamy, as if to launch into an epic poem about his love for Mamoru. Beautiful, romantic music began playing the background, followed by a scratched record sound as Hawk cut him off before he could start.  
  
"No, no! Stop! Don't even start! Ick.." Ganymede entered and sat next to Io. Instantly, both Tiger and Hawk's eyes opened wide. This new girl had to be the best looking girl they'd ever seen, no matter what her age was. Fish just looked at her, then at the two men's eyes. This looked almost familiar.  
  
"Why don't they ogle at me..." Fish asked, in disgust, remembering the entire Minako phase.  
  
"What are you going to do now?' Hawk muttered at Tiger. Tiger grinned. "Perhaps I'll just take them.. BOTH!" Hawk smacked his forehead.  
  
Io said something to Ganymede, and she leaned over to look at Hawk and Tiger. Tiger flashed them a peace sign and grinned his most dazzling smile. All three girls burst into giggles.  
  
Hawk looked away, holding a wine glass in his fingers.  
  
"Nice job, you blew both our chases." Tiger blinked.  
  
"What? What are you talking about, Hawk's Eye? They love me!"  
  
"...Oh. Right. My mistake." Hawk laughing silently to himself. Tiger took no notice and kept on flirting with the girls. Ganymede took in the most; she flirted back as wildly, if not more so, than Fish would when a guy fell into his line of view.  
  
Speaking of Fish and guys, the guy sitting nearest to Fish ( not Hawk) had just winked at him, thinking he was a girl. Fish began half-drooling, half- appearing-sexy and Hawk inched away from him, hiding his jealousy for both his partners with boredom.  
  
Hawk wondered if any other girls were going to show up. And sure enough, another did: a blonde girl, Amalthea, came and sat down right between Io and Europa and began chatting madly with the other three girls.  
  
Amalthea seemed slightly different than the other three; the first thing he heard her say was about her cow, Bessy, which scared him a bit. She was pretty though.. young, but pretty. Hell, he thought, She's responding to Tiger's flirting as well! This is sad...  
  
Promptly, the door flew open as the four girls got their next round of drinks. Everyone turned to face the blue haired girl standing in the doorway, glaring at the four sitting at the bar. Amalthea waved.  
  
"Oh, Hi Callisto! C'mon in and have a drink!"  
  
"Oy! You bakas, we have a really big test tomorrow and you're just sitting here drinking." She sat down and ordered a drink anyway. "Ganymede... did you attract.. another?" she asked, tilting her head toward Tiger. Hawk looked as though he could have died happily right then and there.  
  
Callisto caught sight of him and gave him an odd look.  
  
"Are you drunk or something?," she asked curtly. He blinked and shook his head no.  
  
"Why would you say I'm drunk?"  
  
"Maybe from the half dozen glasses in front of you." Hawk looked at them.  
  
"Those are his!"  
  
"Of course." She gave him a knowing wink and giggled slightly. Hawk realized she didn't drink much, the first few sips had already made her a bit tipsy. Suddenly, there was a startled yelp from the other side of the room and Fish sat down again, dejectedly.  
  
"I failed again... ~_~ so WHAT if I'm a man?! I'm still beautiful!"  
  
"Maybe you should get surgery," Hawk suggested. Fish gave him a horrified look. Tiger was not available to hear; he was currently drunk and engaged in a game of strip poker with four of the five girls.  
  
The three not playing watched the game for a while, until Tiger lost his 5th hand and they realized what he was going to lose and looked away. Callisto was beginning to get used to the alcohol.  
  
"Who are you guys, anyway? Heh, I bet my friends don't even know your friend's name.."  
  
"I bet they don't. My name's Hawk...he's Fish....." Hawk glanced at Fish, who was trying to talk another guy into coming home with him. Callisto raised an eyebrow.  
  
"HE'S Fish? Looks like a girl to me."  
  
"Well, yeah.. he is rather effeminate, isn't he? I guess it's just normal for Tiger and I. What's your name then?" There was a shriek from the other group.  
  
"NO!!! YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE!!" Io yelled at Ganymede. The latter giggled.  
  
"Which should I take off...?"  
  
Hawk slapped his forehead. "We're going to get kicked out..."  
  
Callisto rolled her eyes.  
  
"THEY will, you won't. Besides, who cares? I gotta get home and study." She sipped her drink, then pulled an extremely large, thick book out of her backpack. Hawk almost choked on the olive in his martini.  
  
"You're leaving?!" Callisto blinked at him coolly.  
  
"Not yet. Why? You want me to stay...?" Before Hawk could choke out a response, someone completely not expected walked through the door and this person was...  
  
"MAMORU!!!!" Fish almost fell over. Then, to Fish's utter horror, Usagi, Chibiusa, Minako, Ami, Rei, and Makoto followed him. Hawk raised an eyebrow; Chibiusa caught sight of the group playing strip poker. "Usagi? Why are those people stripping?"  
  
Fish just stared; his dream of being alone with Mamoru in a bar was crushed. Callisto made an irritated noise with her teeth and Hawk tried to look inconspicuous but, unfortunately, Tiger, who was completely drunk, stood up and proclaimed. "Hey Fish Eye, Hawk's Eye! Look it's them!!"  
  
Every person in the bar turned to look at Tiger, who was not only completely drunk, but also completely naked, spare the black and orange boxers he had on. Everybody in the group of Senshi had gone bright red; Tiger sat down and continued his game with the other girls. Hawk repeatedly slammed his head into the counter.  
  
Usagi grabbed Mamoru and skipped to where Fish, Hawk and Callisto were sitting.  
  
"HI!!! How have you been? I mean, after dieing and such."  
  
"Um.. Usako..."  
  
"Yes Mamo-chan?"  
  
"...nevermind." Callisto stared at Hawk.  
  
"I knew you were familiar!!" Hawk rubbed his head in pain and Fish walked away to sulk.  
  
Before Hawk could say anything, Tiger gave a loud groan of disappointment; he'd lost again, and the only thing he had left was the pair of boxers he owned. Now he was getting sober. The four girls noticed and ordered a huge round of drinks. Hawk smacked his forehead.  
  
"Let's get out of here!" Callisto only had time to throw her book into her backpack before he pulled her out the door. Fish stood up and jumped into a watery black hole that appeared, too drunk to realize everyone would notice, and disappeared.  
  
They arrived outside in the middle of a not-so crowded street. It was night, and so the streets were basically empty. Callisto pulled herself out of Hawk's grip.  
  
"So where do we go now, Hawk?" He looked at her.  
  
"What, YOU don't have any ideas?"  
  
"Well, you were the one that decided to leave." Hawk was silent.  
  
"Alright, let's go to the bridge near the Sakura gardens." They began to walk in silence until Hawk practically jumped, stopping to stare at her. "What the hell were the Senshi doing in a BAR?! Especially Chibiusa!!" Callisto blinked.  
  
"They were probably going in for a drink, or in Chibiusa's case, for a first taste of alcohol." Callisto dragged Hawk up to the bridge. "So don't worry. Better the Senshi are drunk than fighting us."  
  
"..Us..? Wait, aren't you on their side?" Callisto looked away from him, down at the river beneath the bridge leaning on the railing.  
  
"Well, yes, technically. But we don't exactly get along. Couldn't you tell? Usagi didn't even seem to notice me or the others."  
  
Hawk leaned on the railing next to her.  
  
"Ah." They were silent for a few minutes before Callisto looked at him.  
  
"So what happened after you three died, hm?"  
  
"Died.. heh." Callisto blinked. "Well, we appeared at this forest, basically the same as we were, but supposedly with dream mirrors. And we stayed there until the Dead Moon Circus was defeated and now we can come back to Tokyo when we want to. Other than that, nothing's really changed.. I guess."  
  
"Oh." Callisto looked back over the bridge. After five minutes, she suddenly jumped. "OH DAMNIT!!! I FORGOT ABOUT STUDYING!!!" She ripped the book out of her bag, set it on the railing (sending Hawk backwards off the railing in the process), and started reading violently.  
  
Hawk stood back up, peeved. He fixed his gloves and brushed dirt of his tights and then sat down on top of the railing, look at her book.  
  
"...there's a book that big on astrology?"  
  
"Yes, it's the compilation of every book created about astrology that I know of." "That you know of...?...." He stared at her. "Did you put that thing together?!," he cried. She flipped a page.  
  
"Yes, if you must know. It makes it handy when I have to study." Hawk continued to stare.  
  
"And you do this.. often?"  
  
"Mmmhmm. This is the biggest ever, mainly because I'm planning to major in astrology. ...You're not in college, are you?"  
  
"I've never stepped foot in a school." Callisto gave him an incredulous look.  
  
"That might explain the outfit." She went back to studying.  
  
After several minutes, she slammed the book shut, causing Hawk to nearly fall off the bridge. If Callisto hadn't grabbed his arm, he would have gone right into the river.  
  
"Kyyaaaaaaa!" Hawk squeaked and she pulled him back onto the pavement.  
  
"Arigatou..." he murmured. "So you're done, then?"  
  
"Well.. I ought to look at my notes..." Hawk sighed. "..But I won't. I've already almost memorized that book. ^_^;;" Hawk gave her an odd look as he stood up. "Memorized?"  
  
"Yes, memorized. Now then, where do you live? If it's in the same direction as my house, I'll walk with you." Hawk laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his head.  
  
"Uh.. in another world? I'll just walk you home and leave from there."  
  
"...what? Wait, how?"  
  
"I'll show you when we get there. ...Oh. Perhaps I should go get Tiger."  
  
"If he can do the same thing as you, I'm sure he'll be fine. Come on, it's this way."  
  
Hawk followed her as she walked. She started talking about astrology, where she came from, why she got picked as Jupiter's Knowledge, and so on. Finally, they arrived at a rather large mansion. She stopped at the gate.  
  
"We're here." He was about to comment when a huge, muscular man suddenly grabbed him by his neck and held him up off the ground. Hawk began struggling to free himself as the man spoke to Callisto.  
  
"This freak bugging you, Miss?"  
  
"~_~ Kimihito, did you hear me screaming? No, he isn't; he's a friend of mine." Kimihito scowled, then slowly set Hawk down. Hawk gasped for air and rubbed his neck.  
  
"Thank.......you......," he squeaked. Kimihito opened the gate and let Callisto in.  
  
"Well, Hawk," she started, then pulled out a little sheet of paper and scribbled something onto it, "if you want to contact me from your...world...here's my number." She handed it to him and headed inside.  
  
Hawk would have melted right then and there, but Kimihito was growling at him so he backed off and walked down the street. When he had reached a darkened sidewalk, he summoned his feather-encircled black hole and vanished.  
  
MEANWHILE, back at the bar.  
  
Tiger was very drunk and wearing a blanket over his legs and stomach. He watched the four girls, Jupiter's moons, half dressed and passed out across the table. It had been fun, yes, but now they were unconscious and probably sober. Maybe he should get them home.  
  
He snapped his fingers and his clothes made their way back to his body behind a long curtain with the Dead Moon design, now rather faded. He poked his head out and blinked at the girls. How was he supposed to take them home?  
  
Maybe he could carry them. But he didn't know where they lived! Uh...my, this was quite a predicament. Tiger poked Io in the shoulder.  
  
"Wuzzawant?," she mumbled.  
  
"Where do you live?"  
  
"Mmm.... home." Tiger blinked.  
  
"I mean, your address."  
  
"Oh. 371283213 Hangover Heaven." She flopped her head back down on the table. Tiger whacked his head on a nearby wall. He could ask the other Senshi about it.  
  
Slowly, he walked up to Makoto. She turned her head to look at him. Thankfully, she was not drunk.  
  
"Eh....can I ask you something?"  
  
".....shoot...."  
  
"Where do those moon-girls of yours live?" She stared at him.  
  
"I'm not going to tell you that!! Hell, I don't even know. Ask them."  
  
"But.. they're drunk. I was going to take them home..." Mako looked annoyed. "We'll take care of them."  
  
"You will? Oh, wow, thanks." Before Mako could say anything more, Tiger had vanished into a black hole, not caring about the looks the other people were giving him, or the way Chibiusa was acting now that she had gotten hold of Mamoru's liquor.  
  
"Mamo-chan, this is FUN!"  
  
"She shouldn't be able to call you that," Usagi whined.  
  
"She shouldn't be drunk!" Ami added.  
  
"WHAT KIND OF BOYFRIEND ARE YOU, MAMORU?!" Rei barked. Mamoru tried to respond, but Minako suddenly flopped on him.  
  
"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Mamoru blushed.  
  
"She's drunk," Usagi stated, blinking.  
  
"No duh," Rei said, leaning on her elbow. Chibiusa fell on top of Minako.  
  
"yeeheeheeeeeee......"  
  
Mako, who had been a bit away from the others, walked up and jerked her thumb toward four of her moons.  
  
"We have to do something with them.. and I suggest we take the liquor from Chibiusa."  
  
"Aawww!" Rei grumbled. "Can't we just leave them here?"  
  
"No, Rei. It's impolite." Everyone glared at Ami as she spoke. "...what?," she asked innocently.  
  
They eventually managed to cart the four moons off to their huge mansion, although were sidetracked and interrogated viciously by a huge man. When they did manage to head back home, both Minako and Chibiusa were fast asleep in Mamoru's arms.  
  
Usagi was VERY annoyed by now. She had wanted to go to a bar and get drunk and perhaps carried home by her Mamo-chan, but NO. The other Senshi and her annoying daughter had to tag along. And even worse, the.. the.. MOONS had to show up! Ok, so they were there first but still! And- Oo... Mamoru looks very sexy with sweaty hair.. Usagi stopped her inner monologue to hang off his arm and grin at him.  
  
"Make someone else carry her, Mamo-chan!" He looked at her with one raised eyebrow.  
  
"You think anybody else will?" Usagi frowned.  
  
"......no......" She stared at the ground, very unhappy.  
  
"Oh, cheer up, Usagi!," said Ami, grinning. "Look, we're almost at Minako's house!"  
  
"YEY! Quick, drop her off and let's go to my house, please Mamo-chan!!" Rei narrowed her eyes at her.  
  
"Alright everyone, let's go home. Miss Moon Princess doesn't want us here anymore."  
  
"Of course I do... well.."  
  
"See?! Let's go!"  
  
"Let's not fight..." Ami said, quietly.  
  
The entire group separated and departed tensely. Minako's parents were quite accepting of the unconscious girl, but Usagi, Mamoru, and Chibiusa departed quickly anyway.  
  
MEANWHILE, in the Elysion forest:  
  
Hawk was sitting at the bar in the house in the forest, holding wine glass in his hands. He wasn't quite sure what to be thinking right about now. Fish walked up behind and sat down.  
  
"So what happened?" Hawk sighed.  
  
"I talked with her, walked her home, got strangled, got her number, vanished...." He sighed, his face breaking into a smile at the vague memory. Fish screwed up his face with disgust.  
  
"Ew."  
  
"Hypocrite," he muttered at Fish.  
  
"Shut up. I'm going to bed." Fish turned around and when into his bedroom. Hawk yawned, wondering what the time was. Tiger appeared behind him and took a seat at stool.  
  
"So, what happened at the bar?" Hawk asked him, glancing at him. Tiger flopped over and sighed miserably.  
  
"By the time they all passed out I was naked and they were half dressed. It was fun....." Hawk gave him an odd look. "So the Senshi took them home when I left....now I'm sleepy....and I've got a hangover." Tiger looked at Hawk. "What happened to the girl with the blue hair?"  
  
"Oh.. uh.. we went for a walk."  
  
"..and...?"  
  
"..And.. she went home."  
  
"Oh COME ON! Something must have happened!"  
  
"...Nope. What happened to your hangover?"  
  
"_ You suck."  
  
Hawk finished his glass and set it down.  
  
"No I don't."  
  
"Yes you do."  
  
"No I don't."  
  
"Yes you do."  
  
"WILL THE TWO OF YOU SHUT UP DOWN THERE?!," roared Fish from upstairs. "I'M TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP!!!"  
  
"GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE AND HELP ME!!" Hawk and Tiger both yelled at the same time.  
  
"He's going to help me!"  
  
"No, he'll help me! I was playing strip poker and he could have watched!!"  
  
"Yeah, but he didn't! You sound like you wanted him to have watched!"  
  
"I'M NOT HELPING ANYONE!!! GO TO BED, DAMNIT!"  
  
Hawk and Tiger glared at each other for a moment, then stalked up the stairs. Tiger fell asleep in his bed within seconds, replaying certain scenes of when he actually didn't loose a hand. Hawk, however, lay in bed for a while, pondering whether to call Callisto in the morning or not.  
  
To be continued. 


End file.
